I'm with the situation

I must type this out ... this is and will be a chapter that once in awhile I will want to come back to. Picture perfect memories. It will not last forever, but I definatly am enjoying it while it lasts. John is too good to be true. It makes sense that he is not true because he is married. But just the way we have been hanging out together is just like I am in a movie, or living a fairy tale. All that I need now is a soundtrack. Thursday he drives out of his way to meet up with me at the mall. He didn't have to, but he wanted to. There was such comfort there that it took me by surprise. Of course I should feel nervous and like im going to hell all the time. But i just cannot seem to feel that way. Friday, I took him to see part of my family at my friends restaurant. VERY personable, but sitting next to him with his arm around me felt so right, although I know it was so wrong. Our endless amounts of talking, although it will soon not be, have just been so heart warming and honest. Kissing him and him kissing me, wasnt strained, wasnt awkward, it came so naturally. Saturday, we fought, i cried, and yet, he still kissed me. Wanting to be around me through the good and the bad. It would make any girl feel special, and for that moment, i did. I never get this treatment, ive never got to feel this way, all this is happening for the reason that I deserve to allow myself to open up my eyes to all the wonderful things that I have to look foward to. Not with John, but with another guy. I put my guard up, im afraid, but I shouldnt be. I can have those movie kissing moments, where my arms just naturally end up around some guys next as he is kissing me. That kiss on the forehead he gave me, it can mean something with another guy. I just had to type this all down. I dont want to forget this moment in my life and the exact words phrases and feelings that I was feeling. I know this wont last forever, and I know at some point, I will have to let go, but ... through all the crap that was given to me, I deserve a little bit of attention this way.